


daylight

by imposterhuman



Series: lover [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Boys In Love, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Making Up, Reconciliation, Soft Steve, Soft Tony, Steve Feels, Steve Needs a Hug, Talking, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Needs a Hug, Young Tony Stark, angst with tiny bits of fluff peppered in like sprinkles, theyre trying!, young Steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-18 15:50:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21796720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Steve ran a hand through his hair, a familiar gesture that was still so alien to Tony. “Where do we go from here?” he asked honestly, derailing Tony’s train of thought. “I mean, I like you. A lot. And I want whatever you’ll give me. But what do you want?”“You,” Tony said, going for casual and missing the mark. “Only you.”A real smile spread across Steve’s face. It warmed something in Tony when he realized he could still tell the difference. “You have me,” Steve said simply, like he wasn’t handing Tony his heart.Tony didn’t deserve it. He was going to break Steve’s heart and hurt him, he already knew it. He wasn’t a good person; he was selfish, impulsive, and rude, he always hit first, and he always hit hard. He was poison for someone like Steve, whose goodness practically radiated off of him in waves. He was--distracted by Steve tapping lightly on his forehead. “Stop thinking,” Steve said.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: lover [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1485008
Comments: 8
Kudos: 161





	daylight

**Author's Note:**

> see i really like this series because i dont have to think of fun titles, taylor swift did that for me
> 
> sorry about the long wait! i hope to get this one going a little better after winter break (college apps amirite) but i want to get another one written by the end of next week, if at all possible
> 
> i think were at the point where you gotta read the rest of the series to get this one, but i put it in order so theres no need to stress! this takes place directly after "the archer" 
> 
> enjoy :))

“So,” Steve said, twining his hands together on the table in front of him. 

Tony mimicked him, trying to hide his nerves. He was lucky the desk wasn’t shaking with the force of his leg bouncing. “So,” he parroted, trailing off into silence.

The golden light of the late afternoon cast soft shadows across Steve’s face where he sat at the window. They were in Tony’s room; Howard wasn’t home, and Tony figured Steve would appreciate the privacy, one way or another. 

Tony was regretting it a little bit, seeing how neat Steve looked compared to the utter mess of his bedroom. He had projects scattered everywhere, with tools and blueprints cluttering up the surfaces. His bed was unmade, his laundry unfolded, and there were dishes in the corner that he kept forgetting to take to the sink. In contrast, Steve looked like the pinnacle of human perfection.

Steve wasn’t; surveying the room with disgust, though; if anything, it was a nostalgic fondness. Tony remembered years of playing with smaller versions of the tools he still used, teaching Steve about circuitry in exchange for Steve telling him all about art. He had no doubt Steve was thinking of the same things. They had a lifetime of history between them, good and bad, and Tony knew he was responsible for everything going rotten. He’d made the choice to end their friendship, not Steve, and he’d kept things broken. That meant he had to take the first step to fix it, but the words were stuck in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I, uh, did what I thought was right, and I didn’t ask you how you felt. That was wrong of me.”

Steve watched Tony, an unreadable expression on his face. “Why’d you do it?”

And that was the crux of it, wasn’t it? Because Tony had a million reasons, but they all felt flimsy in the face of the earnest look in Steve’s eyes. He opened his mouth and closed it again, thinking.

“I was scared,” he whispered finally. “Because you deserved- you still deserve- better than me, and it was only a matter of time before you realized it. I didn’t want you to leave me first, so I left you. I was scared, and I was selfish.”

“And stupid,” Steve huffed. “I want  _ you _ , not whatever idea of better you have in your head that you think I deserve. I always did. I’m so…” he cut off with a huff. “I don’t even know how I’m feeling. Angry, because you didn’t just talk to me. Sad, because we wasted so much time. Happy, because you don’t actually hate me. It’s a lot to take in.”

“Take your time,” Tony said faintly, still trying to make sense of Steve’s words. 

Steve ran a hand through his hair, a familiar gesture that was still so alien to Tony. “Where do we go from here?” he asked honestly, derailing Tony’s train of thought. “I mean, I like you. A lot. And I want whatever you’ll give me. But what do  _ you  _ want?”

“You,” Tony said, going for casual and missing the mark. “Only you.”

A real smile spread across Steve’s face. It warmed something in Tony when he realized he could still tell the difference. “You have me,” Steve said simply, like he wasn’t handing Tony his heart.

Tony didn’t deserve it. He was going to break Steve’s heart and hurt him, he already knew it. He wasn’t a good person; he was selfish, impulsive, and rude, he always hit first, and he always hit hard. He was poison for someone like Steve, whose goodness practically radiated off of him in waves. He was-

-distracted by Steve tapping lightly on his forehead. “Stop thinking,” Steve said. Tony didn’t know when he’d gotten so close, only that all of his senses were screaming  _ Steve! _ It was a fairly effective distraction, as distractions went. 

“Sorry,” he said hoarsely. Steve’s lips were almost brushing his. 

“Me, too,” Steve whispered back. Somehow, Tony didn’t think they were talking about the same thing.

Tony recoiled as if struck. “What for?” he said incredulously. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly,” said Steve, a sad note in his voice. “I didn’t do anything. I knew you were pushing me away, and I let you. I’m sorry, Tony.”

“To be fair, I didn’t exactly make it easy for you to stay,” Tony said ruefully. He ducked his head. “Sorry about that, too, by the way. And I don’t blame you for anything.”

There was a ghost of a smile on Steve’s mouth, but he didn’t say anything. Feeling more than a little reckless, Tony leaned forward the last inch, pressing their mouths together. Steve kissed him back so desperately that Tony could barely keep up.

He didn’t want to think about the emotions bursting in his chest, golden and real. So he let himself drown in Steve instead, letting everything in his mind go. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that he deserved someone like Steve. 

Tony pulled away, panting. Steve watched him with his unreadable eyes, making him fidget a little. Tony touched a hand to his kiss-swollen lips and stared back. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, or if he was even waiting for anything at all. 

He never had been good at the conversations post-kissing. He usually just walked away. But he didn’t want to walk away from Steve, so he stayed exactly where he was sitting, just a hair too close. Steve seemed to pick up on it, because he smiled softly. 

“Want to watch a movie?” he offered as an olive branch from the awkwardness. “It’s been… how long since our last movie night?”

_ Four years, one month, and thirteen days, _ Tony thought sadly.  _ We watched Star Wars, and you fell asleep on my lap. _

“Too long,” he agreed out loud. “I’ll queue something up if you make the popcorn? It’s where it always is.”

Steve stood up. “None of your sci fi if you’re going to yell about the fake science the whole time,” he teased, making his way towards the kitchen without needing directions. 

Tony made a face, even though he knew Steve couldn’t see him. “We’re definitely not watching one of your shitty rom coms; those are boring as all hell.”

“Fine,” Steve huffed a minute later, coming back into the room with a bowl of popcorn. It was in their traditional movie night bowl, which Tony hadn’t moved from its shelf in four years. Steve came to sit on the sofa with him while Tony flipped through channels. “Put on Star Wars. We haven’t seen that one in a while.”

Tony queued it up without thinking too hard about it. He watched as Steve put the bowl between them, a tangible barrier, and tried not to let his heart sink as he turned back to the screen. It was moved a moment later, but the message was clear. At least, he thought it was. 

They started a respectable distance away on the couch. Tony wasn’t sure who moved to close the distance first, only that by the end of the beginning crawl, he was lying with his head in Steve’s lap while the other boy carded his hand through his hair. Tony couldn’t remember a time where he’d felt safer, at least recently. He completely melted under the attention, eyes fluttering closed.

“Are you going to sleep?” Steve asked lowly, not stopping the soothing motions. 

Tony hummed. “Of course not,” he lied. “Watch the movie and ignore any snoring you may or may not hear.”

Steve chuckled. “Okay, Tony,” he said indulgently. There was so much unidentifiable emotion in his voice that Tony started to panic.

Tony tried to return to the calm and safety he’d felt only a minute ago, but his mind was whirling. He had a sinking feeling that he was going to ruin everything all over again. No matter how much Steve  _ thought  _ he wanted him now, Tony knew that it was going to change as soon as the other boy really got to know him again. There was no way Steve was going to stay, and then it would be Tony’s fault all over again. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, like a child trying to hide from the truth. If he couldn’t see the look on Steve’s face, it wasn’t there. Then Steve had to open his mouth.

“I love you,” he murmured, barely above a breath. He must have thought Tony was asleep and not listening. “It’s stupid, I know, but god help me, I love you.”

Tony stopped breathing, but only for a second. He let it smooth out as he continued his pretense of unconsciousness. He didn’t think Steve wanted him to respond, and he wouldn’t have known how to, anyway. 

**Author's Note:**

> i have the rest of the series plotted out in order, so stay tuned! im definitely gonna finish i promise
> 
> comments and kudos make me smile :))
> 
> yell at me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


End file.
